Mindlessman’s Wandering Thoughts

Old made new November 18, 2007

I started hanging out with some old friends again, after a hiatus of about 2 years. I also found out that they recently started partaking in a little smokage and whipits as well. This made me quite happy, now knowing that the people who were basically the first new friends I had made since moving to this side of the country now enjoy the same things as I.

I had kept my greenage usage pretty quiet from them, as since they were getting a larger family and I figured that they would be moving on from that, as all I knew was what my parents did (which was pretty much nothing. Yeah, I grew up sheltered). But ever since I started hanging out with them again, and have several times in the past few weeks, reality has started to hit. HARD.

I realize now that while I was having fun the past few years toking up, I always thought that one day soon I’d have to put the pipe down and ACTUALLY be an adult, as much as I wished to avoid that. But lately, expecially the way things are going at work, and how I’ve finally started to get things in order, it has come to my attention that I am an adult, no matter how much I don’t really feel like one.

The only real basis I have on being an adult is what I learned from my own parents, and maybe a little bit from other family or their friends (which was basically just like them), and I gotta tell ya, there lives seemed very, very boring. And I always knew that it was not what I wanted. Maybe it was fun for them, but I just didn’t see it.

Then, the other night as I was sitting watching them play guitar hero, it hit me. This is life. This is reality. Hanging out with friends, drinking, smoking, using balloons: This is my generations adulthood. And I like it.

There’s even more to it than that. Most of the time hanging out with these guys in the past I have felt like somewhat of an outsider, always careful trying not to say the wrong thing, basically always feeling tense and anxious. I finally realize that there is no need to do so. I can finally feel relaxed and actually have a great time without feeling….weird.

The most amusing part about this is that I have always heard opponents to green say that it is a way to avoid reality. It actually helped me discover reality (so to speak..). Oh, and it actually seems to help me quit drinking large amounts. It helps becouse while I enjoy a good buzz off of alcohal ( and I love the taste of beer), it wont let me drive home, and it usually makes me lose control of my actions and what I say. Green doesn’t do that to me.